bump

like a band we've all split and pursued solo careers in individual blogs, to quite some success i suppose!

haha shawn

COMMISERATE.

shawn can you access blogspot from behind the great firewall of china?!

kanina a crush is fucking hard to worm out of just before exams. fuckfuckfuck need to focus.

ULTIMATE MUSCLE

just bought this 6kg tub of ULTAMATE (extrame!) NUTRITION MUSCLE JUICE for pretty cheap. there's this photo of this muscle-man lifting what looks like 100kg dumbbells in each arm. that is totally extreme.

Post #500

Yup.

how are you gentlemen

all your base are belong to us.

ha-ha-ha.

qf and actuarial science

very interesting, in smu the qf classes and the as classes have significant overlaps. i'm not just talking about the stuff that we cover over two to three years, i'm talking about even the individual classes. QF's probability and finance theory vs AS's probability theory and stat interference, QF's stochastic calculus vs AS's stochastic modelling, and to a lesser extent QF's six different courses on hard math vs AS's two courses, fin math and compu. stats. on top of that, qf students have the opportunity to do these AS's stoch modelling or risk theory as part of their course requirements.

that's just the background. the issue here is that every term only 10-20 students take up these courses. and our classrooms serve a maximum 40-70 people! why can't they just combine some of these courses, make it a little bit more well-rounded and rigorous (i.e. qf students doing a bit more econ shit, and AS students doing a bit more math and computer shit), and then have one combine course to serve more students? It's not like SMU is known for math, nobody goes to SMU to do math, everyone wants to do, in the words of some econ prof here, "soft" classes, classes like mgmt, hr, business or entrepr. classes, and generally steer clear of math. what's the point of doing fnce without math?

clueless people

i've kind of been putting her on hold while i finish my assignments, and she even had the cheek to chide me for ignoring her, and then now she gets super frustrated about not being able to finish her assignments. maybe she hasn't figured out, by looking at the amount of time i'm spending on my work, that she'll probably need to spend the same amount of time too, but it's kind of late already right?

it's fine though, you still have friends to entertain, birthday parties to attend, assignments to avoid. i've been helping you as much as i can but if you don't have time to spend on school then not much is going to work out your way i'm afraid.

HALLO IM STILL EXXTRAM LOL

YUP THIS IS NOT KENNY

LAWL!

apologies for the loss of extramity - kenny cant do this alone! lol!

i hav ebeen working a lot mor eon www.shawn1.com lately. its just my thang that i have to build up as it will become a major part of my resume and online futprint thing. you see you gots to thank aboot this kinda stuff when ur planning to become a major tewl. (thats "tool" to you people who cant spell wrong right)

futures are past! pasts are the new thing now! see this is what you do - you buy a derivative that speculates on whether something in the past actually did happen or not! how cool is that! buy an option in july that speculates on what the 2Q GDP figures actually are! why was JFK really killed? Did we land on the moon? How did the dinosaurs die!?!

goodness knows the past is as much unknown, perhaps irrevocably so, as the future.

speculating on oil?

Some OPEC doodz are blaming speculators for the surge in price of oil. Some people are calling for the ban of futures trading in the US. And some people, notably the one writing this post, is wondering why the fuck these 'oil experts' are all fire and brimstone about speculation of the futures market.

Because if anything, don't futures moderate the volatility of a commodity? Maybe the OPEC doodz are happier if a bomb goes off in Nigeria and the price of oil goes up to $300/bbl for a couple of weeks instead, because, you know, bombs go off at a Nigerian oil pipeline every few weeks. And then all the doodz who are lobbying for banning of futures are likely the same morons who asked for a ban on futures trading on onions, just because the 'experts' blame futures trading, without knowing what the fuck futures do, and then now they have a market that can jump 400% in the blink of an eye.

Because we're the remorseless intelligentsia, we're more inclined to make patronizing comments and roll our eyes all the time, rather than dirty our hands by reaching over to give these retards a good tight slap across the back of their heads, even though that is probably the only thing going to give them a healthy dose of common sense.

[author's note: if you disagree with the opinion that futures is not to blame for oil price rise please let the author know you are eye rolling and thinking patronizing thoughts.]

The Black Blood of Allah

$139.89/bbl isn't funny anymore, guys.

Well, with the Saudi King and the Kuwait minister talking about oil, something big's gonna happen. Where would you be, when oil retreats and we catch our breaths?

FEAR

So took over the reins from a leader who has thrown in the towel for his dying guild. I don't blame him the going is quite impossible. Had about a week of intensive manpower hunting, only for barely any change. So we're stuck again, now with two guys I feel like I cheated. I found two guys who were willing to hop over (not knowing our pathetic situation) and got them to transfer. And I really hate to tell these two that we're closing shop, since they paid the transfer fee to come over. and leave their old guilds behind and everything. And this is what they get? Nothing! I couldn't tell them we hid the truth from them. To be honest, I expected everything to pull through.

But if we had to close shop we would have done it two weeks ago, now it's too far ahead to give up. So we're pushing through this remarkably tough patch, and hopefully everything turns out for the better. But we seem to have expended all our available solutions and nothing seemed to have worked. How far down the chasm we seem to have fallen...

X-treme in a Past Life

This was shot entirely in Sentosa. That map is now no longer playable because it's becoming an integrated resort. But this can serve as some memory.

Okay, please forgive the crappy text, (damn it, "ALERTNESS"?? "VIGILANCE"??? "THIS IS A FIGHT"??????? Are you freaking insane, do you have to put this mindless brainfarts all over the place?????) this is actually quite a well done piece of work.

Camera angles were shot quite neatly--that's the difference when you actually set aside a cast to act on directions, rather than stick a camera into a battlefield and hope you can produce a good movie--and the pacing was good. Credits to Keat on cameras, I think he single-handedly provided the most necessary fundamentals for a film.

Sure, the lamo text kinda fucked it up a bit, especially with the lamo intro and music, but there's still no stopping this from being a great clip. Some of the split screens weren't terribly necessary, but overall it's been pieced together pretty alright.

Enjoy the Haogen! Team Alpha leader!
STRATEGIC PLANNING: *poke poke poke* map.
GOAL SETTINGS: (Settings as in control panel --> settings or what???? It's freaking SETTING without the S at the end, freakzor)
LEADERSHIP: you go there *wave wave* you go there *wave wave*!

HAHAHAHA dammit, Haogen's a star! Me, I'm just the sniper on the opposite team, the loser who was fixed to go down first. (I booked it that way so that I got to slack once my part was done. Haha.)

YOU GOT ISHUES MANGGG

i just got my driving license woot! remarkably patient, although not very good at it.

wow guild is dying to the max. once you can't get going for a while people are just going to stop giving. it's like that! have to keep the momentum running otherwise people are just going to quit. sadness!

mad frenzy of recruitment. trying to suck the crap out of every other server, hunting for good players, i will stop short of stealing though! trying to find disbanding guilds and trying to liaise with other guilds to convince a transfer. we really need more people! where to find people!

no guild i know does recruitment so aggressively. other lamers will just put a notice up on the forums and expect people to go and read it. we'll go to them and tell them to come over. we're not any good, but what's to stop us from recruiting like we're aces?! maybe the real aces will come our way...

good people are hard to find. and sometimes when they go you can't do a shit about it.

shit people are all over the place and they're all over you.

St Anger

I got really serious anger problems.

It's at its worst when I'm behind the wheel. I'm a real bad mother when I'm driving. I imagine my car horn to be some sonic pulse assault system, and my headlights to be an ultra mega laser vaporizer. The tiniest things set me off. Like bastards who don't signal before steering into my lane. Or brainless morons who don't wave thanks when I give way to them out of the pure kindness of my heart. I lean deep into my horn at the slightest crap on the road (like for example some road hog who's driving slow on the fast lane because he's picking his nose or yapping on his phone) and make it known to anyone in my way that I'm coming through by casting blinding rays of high beam right up his ass. Of course I rarely do all this with my mouth shut. I scream the most murderous of things. Which is why I can't wait to get a convertible. Because it's convenient! You can raise your hands and gesture away. Don't have to wind the window down first. Your quarry would probably scuttle away already by then. And if you have a really good voice, you can swear at other drivers and terrorise the faeces out of them. Or if you're really pissed off, chuck super deadly ninja stars at their tyres and watch those shitbags crash and burn.

It's not much different when I'm not driving though. The other day I was walking on a zebra crossing, when this car cut in front of me. I'm a bloody pedestrian, god damn you! So what did I do? I freaking kicked the car! Reared back, put some power into my leg, and lunged forward with a solid thrust kick right on its door as it zoomed past me. I would have given the driver a flying kick in his stupid face if he came out to ask what the matter was. Lucky for that coward, he drove away like the scumbag he was. I hope there was lots of sand on my sole, so that it would scratch that pisstard's vehicle! Son of a bitch!

I hate it, I need to go for counselling.

The Shopping List

SingTel
SGX (wait a day or two)
SIA (wait a while, check the wedge)
UOB

Go go go! Strike with great vengeance!

where shall my blood be spilt

Today I went for my medical review. I got upgraded back to PES B status. Stupid doctors. Never really liked doctors.

I found it tremendously hilarious, reading about what happened to the GP who bonked his clinic helper. Then he got blackmailed by his dumb partners. What's up docs? Your cocks? Son of a bitch deserved it. What a stupid bastard! Hahahahahaha.

Back to my PES B. I hope they take another ten years to do the actual administrative changes. Then another ten years to post me to a combat unit. Then another ten years to actually call me up for reservist training.

I'm not sure what's happened to me. I've tried to play single player Warcraft III custom games lately. But I keep losing. I keep getting smashed by the computer. I don't understand what happened. I can't be becoming dumber. The game didn't get harder from when I last played it in 2003. So what's going on man! You know how demoralising it is?

I made a losing trade on the USD-JPY pair just now.

I'm on a losing streak everywhere man. My SGX stocks are tumbling too.

WTF!

Kids

My two intern colleagues are like kids. No actually I'm not sure if they are like kids, or they are more like a couple. They quarrel all the time and squabble when they're not. Yeah you get my point. While it can make for entertaining lunches, sometimes it gets a bit too nonsensical and I wanna smack them upside the back of their heads. Then when they ask who did that I'll conveniently point at the other one whom I hadn't just smacked. At least I know what they'll be arguing about then, instead of all the other times when I'm lost figuring out the logic behind their circular battles.

Speaking of kids, I see so many pregnant ladies in Raffles Place these days. Haha. I guess 2007 wasn't that great a time to get knocked up. See, the good times don't last. You ought to have a kid when the economy is just about picking itself out of the gutter, not when the economy is on a high. Now look, the markets crash and the mommies are left with a little monster to feed. Way to go. When you plan for a child, you should time it such that the markets rise as your child grows. That way you keep pace.

One and a half years on from leaving the SAF, I get in my mailbox a military order for me to go for a medical review, to determine if I'm worthy of my non-combat status. One and a half years since I walked out the gates of that camp, and they realise they're not quite through. Hmm, how do you spell efficiency? I think it goes like, uh... Ee, Eff, Eff, you, see, kay?

jobless

hi i'm jobless.

playing wow again, things are slowing down. feeling frustrated over the lack of players, suboptimal rosters, stupid people not leaving the guild, good people leaving in droves, blah blah blah.

picking up c++ by throwing myself straight into the action. didn't bother with those "LEARN C++ IN 30 DAYS" or "C++ FOR BEGINNERS" crap. just go ahead and do it anyway. dynamic memory allocations? referencing dereferencing? malloc? wut lol.

will attempt to conquer java once i'm done with this project to simulate multiple variable pseudorandom functions.

no i'm just kidding. i'm just simulating the damage output of weapons in world of warcraft. which to some extent is dependent on different stats and skills, and to some extent (time-seeded, hence pseudo) randomness. so that wasn't exactly a genuine kid either. meh whatever.

not really actively looking for a job. so ok. relack some more.

The Intern-et

Yeah that's why they call us interns, because we're always on the internet, because we have nothing much to do. Now I'm always on Bloomberg or SGX. Can't go on www.addictinggames.com or www.wwe.com though, not so polite.

Today I tallied the travelling expenses of the managing director. Quite an alcoholic, that fellow. Then I drew an organisational chart, which was quite a good throwback to the AB105 Organisational Behaviour days.

Found out that one of the jobs I do, which is to generate standardised reports in XBRL for reporting to ACRA (Accounting and Corporate Regulatory Authority... I think), is a really lucrative thing. Each of these reports I do is tagged with a $500 bill charged to the client. I burned through 8 of them this week, cranking out each of the cookie-cutter financial statement reports with the most minimal of fluctuation in mental activity in about half an hour. I get paid $800 a month. Simple arithmetic tells you I'm being employed very productively! My immediate superior felt sorry for me that they don't use a commission-based remuneration scheme.

The Boys of Summer

Freshman days are over. No more excuses to be a noob next sem! This blog is such a goner, it's been dead for years. Kenny Shorn how've your exams been guys?

Halfway into my first week at my internship. I like the job. I like the people. Even the pay's more than I expected. I didn't really have much to do these few days. I'd call it nostalgic, that endless battle I fight everyday after lunch against myself, where I struggle to keep myself awake when all I really want to do is collapse on the table and get knocked out for a few hours. Last time this happened was in the good old SAF.

I wonder why the employers allow that to happen. If I'm an employer and I know I've got three fresh-faced interns looking to do a good job on their first internship to sweeten their resumes even further, I'm going to be throwing a lot of crap tasks their way, the kind of crap tasks I really can't see myself doing, because I know they'll do everything in that limited power of theirs to not screw up. Besides, the employers already knew they were going to have summer interns, couldn't they have dreamed up chores for us to do? That's what interns are for.

It's a beautiful summer, that I'm going to be spending in an office five days a week for two and a half months. It's that time of the year that every slaving noob in college looks forward to (ok maybe the slaving is optional) as the contractual reward to surviving an academic year. It's not hard to imagine though, come August when we begin another term, the friends who will moan about where their summer went, and scratch their heads to coax out memories of what transpired in three idle months. Let's not let that happen to us. Let's be the kind of people who will tell those exact friends 'hahaha you're such a waste of life. Rice already costs so much. Damn it stop eating it if you aren't gonna do anything useful, try the dust between your keyboard keys instead.'

We're supposed to be really thrilled about having the holidays upon us. Not sure about you guys, but that thrill lasted all of, what, 2 hours, after the last paper? But maybe that's because I was already playing too much Playstation and going out to play Laser Tag too often when I should have been revising. Don't get me wrong, I love the way life is now, without having to rush all over the place trying to get projects done.

Yea, that's the best. I've got my pretty girlfriend whom I love so much, her damn awesome Wii, an internship that puts me in good stead, a volatile stock market and an even more volatile forex market, a whole gang of buddies, yea what can I ask for. At least I'm not laying unconscious in a typhoon-shredded padi field. Prayers for the victims in Myanmar.

wow management 101

at an officer or an officiating level, if you don't keep track of what's happening at the grassroots level, it is very easy to make decisions that may be a tipping point of dissent and grudge that you are not aware of.

just as an example, two different cliques have been quietly upset over certain officer related issues and other players in the guild for a long time. unaware of this divide, a devoted but unpopular guy was promoted to officership to help with the increasing demands of administration. in retaliation, a prominent player quits, and begins a cascade of overt dissent at other players and the officers, leading to a near collapse of the organization.

it's one thing to maintain a professional distance for objectivity and fairness. it's another thing to be completely detached from the problems of the grassroots. and yes it's not easy to balance being involved and being objective about involvement. you want to be concerned but you cannot show more concern for one party over the other.

my friends and i have been going through a trying crucible of learning good management policy and forsaking bad habits now trying to fix the errors of their leadership and making tremendous changes in the organization of the guild. tough time for us all.

not everyone is a natural born leader. it is so easy to rattle off the principles of management but to make that and your managerial beliefs one and the same you'd have to consistently put yourself in positions of leadership and check yourself at every step. and that learning journey is very painful.

keynesian

key-nesian models, indeed.

econs prof... indeed.

ROCK BAND HERO

Lol I played Guitar Hero! As a guitarist I found it quite counter intuitive at first but I got used to it later.

I played Rock Band with my friends. More interesting. The whole set is facking expensive but if you can get all the parts you can have three other blokes playing different parts of the same song together. More exciting!

Have you ever shredded

on GUITAR HERO 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Crazy insane game! Tons of fun! Kenny you should totally try it. Photos and videos up another time.

stages of grief

i'm angry right now.
it's signalling that i'm moving on.
i'm angry all the things you have done to me
and all the things i had to go through thanks to you
it's not even rational but i hated that shit

i'm going to put all the blame on you
when i see you again i'm going to think about all the shit you put me through

how you betrayed me
how you left me in the doldrums
how i tried to look for you but you were never around
when i needed your presence your comfort
and you'd only be there when you needed me
and i'd be nice and entertain you

but you put me through all this crap
all your words
that meant nothing
that hurt me cos they never meant what you thought
you weren't lying
but they weren't true
you didn't even know what you were supposed to think
and you never thought about it
you just went along and prayed you never find out
how much you killed it for me
when you said you'd be around for me
but not always
not always

and i'll think about what i've done and feel really good about myself.
that i hate you
cos you took my heart and ripped it to shreds
you probably didn't even mean it
and how can i blame you for it
but i hate you
i hate that you ruined it all for you
i wanted you and you wanted me
but i gave it all and you never did the same
even now you still try to take it all
but i can't give anymore i can't
and now when i see you that's all i think about
how you murdered me on the inside and
how you couldn't handle your own actions and
how you chose to ignore my feelings because of your own indecision and
thanks to you
i'm angry right now.

when was tthe last time we blogged here lol!

too many people important to my life right now read my blog.

i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.

lol blogging is so cathartic. it has to be unrestrained. yet it has to be discreet.

annoying!

2007

Happy new year! 2007 has been a memorable year (but in all your life, which year have you not ever regarded as memorable?). Here are some highlights, moments, and lessons, that will forever shape my life in the years to come.

Love
Char and I are now more than a year old, and the first sparks of fancy that danced only a year ago have long been stoked into a passion that is now the one thing that defines me. We've had ups that seem to go on forever and downs that are more like brief, terraced inflections than actual dips, and to all the people who feed me their sordid wisdom on how the magic in new love never lasts beyond 4 months, I respond with a sincere and completely heartfelt 'Screw you, your partner probably sucked ass.'

Everything I do, I now find meaning in, because there is love. Those of you who know me, you probably know I love money. You also probably think the only thing I love, is money. No, that's incorrect. Much of what I do, are for the people I love. Sorry to sound all emo on you, but you can't adorn your princess with all manner of riches from the furthest corners of the Earth without any money, can you?

Char is my best friend. We do so many things together.

Money
This was a path I chose for myself a year earlier, a path I was psyching myself up to take the moment I turned 21. In all its glory, from investing in the stock market this year, I turned a humble but decent real return of 17%. The Straits Times Index, for the same period in which I began my journey to riches, yielded... let's see, 5.5%? How's that for you?

Unfortunately two things have held me back from higher gains, one of which I believe is a product of the first, which is my limited capital. The other restraint of my returns is a simple weakness called Greed. Toward the end of the year, I assumed high amounts of risk by trading structured warrants, banking on a year-end rally which did not materialise. It did not pay off, and I lost a tidy sum. On hindsight, had I known this would have happened, I would have gone out and bought an iPod Touch with that money instead. Less the losses on my warrants, I would have produced a 27% return on my capital. But a loss is a loss. I've been humbled.

Next year wouldn't be a fantastic year now that the R-word hangs over our heads and off the tip of our tongues, but I still hope to outperform the STI.

Jobs
I've been in and out of a few jobs. Currently, I'm under the employment of the awesome company Anergy. This year, I've worked at HSBC, Cathay and Combat Skirmish. HSBC and Cathay were boring, while Combat Skirmish wasn't pleasant. Sure, Combat was fun for a good part of 2006, I'd give it that, but it didn't take long for some of us to realise that the working environment was pretty trash. Coupled with a horny boss, severe underpayment and-- No, actually, it's just the boss. He wasn't the brightest man I've ever met, and the only thing upright about him was the tool in his pants (his morals were in the toilet). If I were to choose one word to associate him with, I'd be splitting hairs for days on end trying to determine if it would be 'lecherous', 'unprofessional', 'incompetent' or 'disgusting'. And I'm only being nice.

I'm happy where I am now. Just a few days ago, I came back from a 3D2N retreat to Hong Kong, sponsored by the very generous and truly altruistic folks of Anergy. They're great people to work with and for, and between Combat and Anergy, is a great world of difference. Have you had employers who allow you the flexibility to work on a free-lance basis, who supply great food (think buffets, BBQs, Swensen's, etc) and welfare at and after work, who pay you way above the market rate for part timers, and, as if all that weren't enough, give you and your colleagues a holiday to Hong Kong, just to say thanks?

School
I enrolled into university this year. School life, is just the beginning of the live-fast-die-young regime I'm going to live by in the remainder of my years. Projects, deadlines, teamwork, etc. I haven't performed up to expectation for two examinations back to back, scoring B+s on many subjects. I have failed myself, but I'm not done. Disappointed, yes, resigned, no.

School has been the hugest parade of noobs I've seen. But if they're noobs, why aren't I owning the crap out of them!!!! Next semester, we'll talk again.

At one point, Char got worried because I'd be spending a lot less time with her than she's used to, and I'd also be meeting tons of new girls. Nothing to worry about there, because they're all noobs and I don't like noobs. And all of them are kids. I can't entertain thoughts of loving those kids. That's just gross and unnatural. I love you only, Char.

Have been offered many opportunities, very varied ones. From being the MC of my scholarship awards ceremony, to being selected for photoshoots to represent NTU in their advertisement campaigns, to being picked for interviews with the press, well yes, you're gonna be seeing a little bit of me around.

I shall look to secure an overseas exchange programme for next year.

Friends
I don't have many friends. Made many acquaintances this year, but few friends. I've probably become more distant from some other friends, but that's okay. Fell out with one or two colleagues, never bothered to salvage anything, and sometimes work can be weird. But I don't mind. It doesn't interfere with much.

One thing I cannot tolerate is people who choose to be stupid. Being born stupid, or being ignorant, is still acceptable to me. Not everyone's blessed with a triple-digit IQ. But refusing to see reason, choosing to be dumb, acting idiotic, that really gets me sometimes.

Some people still want to keep in contact with me. I appreciate each and every one of you who does that. We all need friends.

Self
I'm not a nice guy. Haven't been a nice guy for a long time. And I haven't become nicer this year. I'm not instantly warm, I express displeasure openly, I manipulate others and I judge people. I don't know why I'm like that, but it hasn't become a problem yet. So, I'm wondering if I should nip the problem in the bud, or let it grow, and see if it'll ever become a problem. I've done two DISC assessments this year, and the D is defintitely in my name. I could attempt to make a feeble resolution to be a little more pleasant, but we all know how resolutions turn out.

The only person who can stand me, and then go on still to love me, is Char. Miraculous.

And that folks, is the reason why 2007 was a great year. 2006 and 2007 have been fantastic. Next post, I'll share some pictures of my very happy 2007. At the turn of 31/12/06 and 01/01/07, whoever it was that had wished me 'Happy New Year' truly must have meant it.

Well here's wishing you the best that 2008 can offer you.

yes/no

all the signs saying no and all the signs saying yes tear me in two different directions. such a dangerous person she is, to find out that so many people drive themselves to madness over this person, for all the reasons i'm such a simple minded fool as well.

stages of grief

just going through this inexplicable stage of melancholy right now. there's no reason for me to feel depressed, everything is going fine and i've nothing to worry about, but i'm just very upset about nothing in particular.

rotten days

oh shit what did i get myself into. losing myself the thick growth in this valley of pain. so many unfulfilled promises, so many disappointments, yet we all want to throw ourselves madly into it.